Meet Heshie.
A New Yorker through and through. A man whose presence and reputation greet you before he does. A husband, a friend, a father – and not just to his own children.
For the past 15 years, Heshie has become a brother, father, friend to countless lone soldiers from around the world. He found his calling with lone soldiers – soldiers from the diaspora who come to Israel to serve in the IDF. He is able to provide his “family” of soldiers with a sense of family and community, especially to those who spend years in Israel without it.
“I have soldiers from Rome, from Toronto, from London, from South Africa, and many, many from the United States. I have soldiers from all over the world.” While lone soldiers come from all over the world, not all of them settle in Israel permanently. Many come back to their home countries and “the one thing they need is community, people to help them with the transition back to civilian life.”
Heshie was not a lone soldier himself. His work with the soldier community began15 years ago. It shifted to lone soldiers when his close group of friends served as lone soldiers during the first Gaza war, 10 years ago. When they were called back to serve, he began helping with securing funding for their flights. At the time, there was a small company called Agilite (which is now a large company) that was founded by former lone soldiers that was helping get equipment to the units that needed it most. When he came to Israel to distribute equipment, he recalls the time spent with the organization ‘Chayal el Chayal’, the people he met, the sense of community he experienced; all of which led to his continued involvement with lone soldiers. He encourages his own children to serve as well, if it is something they feel called to do. “I encouraged my kids to serve, but I will never pressure them. They chose not to, but have volunteered and served the country in their own ways.”
On October 7, he was in Israel with his family, celebrating Sukkot and Simchat Torah. They were staying in Jerusalem, with plans to go to a lone soldier center to celebrate the holiday with his community. “We woke up to the sirens, to the bombs, to the phone calls.” The first thing he did was try to calm his family. He then immediately jumped into action.
Despite being an observant Jew, he is reachable by phone 24/7 in order to be accessible to all of his soldiers whenever they need him. “I literally sometimes sleep with an ear bud in my ear. It’s not uncommon for me to get calls at 2 or 3 in the morning from someone in crisis.”
Heshie leveraged his connections and immediately began working on securing equipment and flights for his lone soldiers around the world. “I was trying to streamline communication and the needs of people who wanted to come back. As soon as the news broke, everyone, all of the soldiers, guys who haven’t served in ten years or more were all running to airports and were wanting to get back to Israel.”
What makes lone soldiers unique is that many aren’t required to be in the reserves once they return to their diaspora communities. “A lot of people were not called back. You had a whole drove of people that just wanted to come back – before they received their Tzav 8 (conscription orders). Of course, there were some who had very active units and were called back immediately.” These soldiers have the option of returning to serve or not, even once they receive their orders. They go back because they want to make a difference and help.
“It’s powerful because they are sacrificing so much. I can tell you stories of my soldiers, one who is engaged, another had a baby, another’s wife is expecting, another landed their dream job… the list goes on. They don’t have to go and often people around them don’t understand why they are going. When they get there, they don’t have family, they can’t be home with their loved ones on a shabbat off, there is no one greeting them by the door when they walk in after a month or two.” Lone soldiers often do not have the support systems in Israel that the Israeli soldiers do, things that are as simple as seeing your family, or having someone help with your laundry, people that are part of your regular life that help you decompress after battle.
“They are an amazing group. Our lone soldiers are amazing. They are there for each other and have a love for their country and for their people. No matter where they are in the world, no matter where they are with work or family or dating, they will drop everything when they are needed.”
Communities mobilized to find flights for these soldiers to return. “There were people in Mexico, in Europe.” Heshie tried to call the Consul General in New York to have him help charter a flight. “I had 500 people, commanders, all trying to get back.” The community was in chaos, trying to get every soldier back to Israel. “I know a soldier that spent $5000 of his own money just because that was the only seat available.” As the war continued, soldiers were able to receive reimbursements for their flights, or different organizations covered the costs of their tickets.
Beyond flights, ensuring that soldiers had the right equipment was paramount. Rumours were reaching lone soldiers around the world that ground troops were not receiving the equipment they needed.
“I brought a lot of my soldiers, who are nothing short of my own family, to their bases to go into Gaza. I don’t sleep at night. It’s a big responsibility to take them to the border, to bring the 20, 25 year old to go fight. I understand their parents, I understand their spouses.” It is his goal that the soldiers in his care are treated the way he would treat his own children. It is an honour and a responsibility that he doesn’t take lightly.
Heshie has been involved in so many different projects. He often starts talking of one initiative, and it leads to the next, before circling back to where he began. With so many irons in the fire, so to speak, it’s a wonder he can keep it all organized in his brain. He pulls out his phone regularly to share the faces of the people who have helped and who have been helped.
“If I could tell you what we raised, what we did, what we did for widows and soldiers… and everyone was jumping at the chance to help.”
WhatsApp groups were set up to help facilitate the gathering of equipment around the United States near airports that were flying soldiers to Israel; New York, Miami, Los Angeles. What began as Heshie and his community creating gear bags for soldiers, became a nationwide initiative. “People stepped up and they spent a lot of money getting equipment to soldiers.”
The American Jewish community helped whenever and however they could. No request was too big or small, whether it was requesting funds for a wedding or for paying for airfare, or sourcing tactical gear or helping a young couple getting married collect money for a nest egg. Local teachers and students would run fundraisers to help raise funds for the soldiers. Bar and bat mitzvah projects are being dedicated to fundraising. They would then be what to order with their money based on needs being reported directly from soldiers. “A morah (teacher) raised $1000, so she purchased a certain type of tape that the soldiers love. A bar mitzvah boy and his father raised enough to buy 150 pairs of gloves and another 100 stop-the-bleed kits. Everything went directly into combat and saved lives.” Word got out within the community regarding what was needed, whether it be foot cream or wool socks, or helmets or vests, and people would find a way to make that everything is collected. They would go to stores and purchase what they could. “It was just different people that were getting equipment, and we’re making sure it gets to the soldiers.”
At the beginning of the war Heshie and his community were sending large amounts of general equipment to Israel, however, it was going into warehouses in Israel and wasn’t reaching the soldiers as quickly as it could have. “People here were spending millions of dollars of their own money, and it was going to Israel, but it was getting held up by army logistics. I was talking to soldiers on the ground that were using old vests and old helmets if they were lucky – some didn’t even have vests and were going in with flap jackets.” One of the earliest initiatives was to circumvent this issue. “We made gear bags. Every soldier flew with a bag. In their bag was a vest, and whatever we could get our hands in terms of equipment, as well as hygiene items that could be taken directly to their units.”
All military gear being purchased had to be up to the specifications set by the IDF. Initially people bought it piecemeal, but eventually orders were being placed directly from producers and suppliers of military gear in the United States. “I’d love to see that when this war is over, that we are prepared for the next time. If G-d forbid they are called up again, we won’t have to scramble to get whatever we can. When one of my soldiers leaves, I want to make sure that he or she has one less thing to worry about.”
The logistics of this operation are worthy of their own story. It involved a network of people working out of their homes, people set up different warehouses, people worked out of their businesses. “People gave space, people double-used their space, people just found a place.” People began forging relationships with sporting companies and equipment manufacturers and created more robust kit bags, as well as large scale equipment shipments to send directly to the IDF for all soldiers to benefit from. El Al helped facilitate the large volume of equipment being sent to the military by ordinary Jewish American citizens.
From the earliest days of the war it was non-stop. A supply centre was set up at JFK airport in the airport’s synagogue. They turned the airport’s little prayer room into a store where soldiers could grab what they needed on their way to Israel. “It was just bins of different gear. Flashlights, toiletries, all the things. People were donating, people were collecting, and soldiers were taking what they needed before boarding.”
Slowly things transitioned from consumer goods to tactical gear, items that were far more expensive, and much harder to get. “We tried to enable a lot of the soldiers to fundraise for their units from their communities. They were able to get a lot of gear for people; not just themselves, but their whole unit.”
Heshie has seen funds beginning slow down. “The money is harder to get a hold of. I am trying to get a vest for someone, supplies are easier to come by. The money is a lot harder to get. Everyone gave what they could up front, but we have a long way to go. I am confident that the Jewish community will mobilize again. The pressure is still on, I’ve had 20 - 25 soldiers redraft.”
And of course, not all efforts were monetary – some are spiritual. Heshie and his wife Rebecca created a group that would welcome battle weary soldiers back to America. “Most had friends and family come, but some didn’t. It was a way for the community to make it that much better. We’ve had people in all major airlines welcome the soldiers back.” The videos of the welcome back airport parties circulated on social media, reaching millions of viewers, and showing the inspirational strength and connection within the Jewish family.
“One thing that I’ve learned about charity is when you help somebody, the person being helped is not really getting the most benefit. The person helping is. Your sense of being needed and useful is a lot more than the person that’s being helped.”
Every so often we are reminded that the Jewish people, and even the Israeli people, are one family and one people. “We are one soul, we really are. We’re the most amazing, beautiful people. That’s why we have so many organizations and so many different things that we help each other with. We need to be united, whether we are religious or not, left or right leaning politically, Ashkenazi or Sephardic or Mizrahi or Ethiopian, or even Druze or Arab – it doesn’t matter. On October 7th it didn’t matter what you were. Not being Jewish didn’t save people either.”
To sit and talk with Heshie is to hear a seemingly endless stream of stories that showcase the heart of the Jewish nation. It is often hard to hold back tears when he details the kindness and giving spirit of others. While he has done so much, he often deflects the attention away from himself and on to his community members and soldiers who make magic happen.
His story can’t be told without telling the stories that keep his mission going.
At the beginning of the war, while in Israel with his family, he noticed a group of 20 soldiers meeting up at the hotel getting ready to deploy. He went around the corner to a store to buy whatever he could for the soldiers. He came back to the hotel and handed off the bags to the unit’s commander. What he didn’t know is that displaced people were staying at the hotel. The commander took what he could from the supplies given to him – snacks, toiletries, etc. – and handed them out to the displaced families instead of to his soldiers.
A young couple from Detroit got married on Oct. 6th. The husband was drafting, and trying to get on any flight. The wife was running supply drives in Detroit, and driving full U-Hauls to New York. While he was waiting to get on a flight, to risk his life, she was collecting and giving, and organizing for her new husband’s fellow soldiers.
When called upon to attend a funeral in place of one of his soldiers, Heshie of course agreed. Standing at the funeral, the pain of each loss, of soldiers he didn’t know, pierced his heart. “It hurt. I get emotional during these conversations, and I don’t get emotional often.” The soldier who was killed in action, not a lone soldier, was in his 30s. A father to four beautiful, young daughters. A husband. A son. When his wife stood to speak, she spoke from such a place of strength, that it renews your purpose. When his mother stood to speak, her pain was felt by all those present. He couldn’t bring himself to go and comfort the mourners that day. A few days later, however, his soldier who asked him to go to the funeral came out of Gaza and asked Heshie to accompany him to the shiva. “We stayed, we talked, we were there for a while.”
A relationship was formed with this family. “I checked in on them before Purim.” All of the daughters are under 8 years of age. “I had some people check on the family and I found out that their washing machine and dryer were broken, and they were worried about dresses for Passover.” Heshie spoke with his Rabbi, and broke down in tears. The family wasn’t asking for a vacation or a car, just for the ability to have clean clothes. He set up a fundraiser and was able to get them the money for the washer and dryer, among other things. Before Passover, the synagogue, Veyigdal Moshe, was able to raise an additional $30,000. Wives in the community went shopping to buy dresses for the girls. Community members who spent Passover in Israel brought everything from New York, and a lone soldier delivered it to the family. Sometimes it’s the small things that make the families of the fallen soldiers feel a little bit more whole. It’s one of the toughest things, but the most rewarding.
While they were at the funeral, 20 soldiers were released, and they didn’t have a chance to eat. They were transported from their base to the funeral, so Heshie, along with a fellow congregation member, Eddie, took them to a shawarma restaurant to eat. “I had the most amazing conversation with them. I explained to them how the whole world, our community and many communities are with them. They were taken aback, they were surprised. They thought this was their fight only. I explained that this is everyone’s fight. This is every Jew’s fight because if you’re not fighting this fight, we are dead wherever we are in the world. We are there with you, we cry with you, we feel every time that you have a loss. We’re in that battle with you, in any way that we possibly can be.”
Heshie is starting a new initiative. He wants every family that lost a father in this war, everyone that was married and had children to have an adoptive synagogue (in the USA or in other places). A community elsewhere in the world that will help each family on a more regular basis. “We have so many widows, so many kids that lost their fathers, and they don’t know that we’re here for them. They don’t feel it as much, even within their own community. I think if we could set something up where they know that people will come in to celebrate simchas with them, and a community that they can travel to visit – we can create surrogate families.”
Like most of us, Heshie is uncertain about the future of the Jewish people in America. He sees the antisemitism swirling around, rearing its head for this generation, as it has for our ancestors before us. “We aren’t a special generation, we were just a delusional generation, we were unprepared. I think the lesson of today is that we cannot rely on others, and we no longer have to.”
“We have such a love and need to try to fix people and fix the world. Sometimes we get sidetracked, and our compassion ends up hurting our community, our people, our country. This is not a new story.”
Of course, there are supportive members of the non-Jewish community who have reached out to Heshie to express their support for the Jewish community and the work he is doing. There are many people who are indifferent. Unfortunately, a small, hateful minority are excessively loud and are instigating the increase in hate crimes against the Jewish community. “America’s great, we have built great lives in America, we’ve contributed a lot to society and have done a lot to build this country, but we have to look at Europe to see what our future holds, and it doesn’t look great.” He is worried that the future for Jews in America will only get worse. “The decline of western civilization always starts with the Jews. Soon, we will have to hide our Judaism in public, and eventually, just as we have seen in France, a large part of the population will leave for Israel.”
“We were never promised an easy life. We just have to do the right thing. We have to be able to go to sleep at night knowing that we did the right thing. Every one of my soldiers that I speak to did the right thing – and they take pride in that. We are a very special people, and it does get us in trouble. I would love the rest of the world to understand who we are and not hate us, but I’m not here to change the rest of the world, I am here to save our people and to make sure our people survive and thrive. That we do the right thing and lead the right lifestyles and are there for each other.
Heshie helped found the organization Nevut with Ari Abromawitz and others, about seven years ago. It started out with a few lone soldiers, as a way to help them find community and navigate the transition back into diaspora civilian life. What started with under a dozen lone soldiers at a Nevut Shabbaton has grown into hundreds, coming with their children and spouses. “It’s beautiful. We created a community. We’re trying to get bigger in terms of helping with mental health, with job resources.” It’s a community for a community, a support system, a brotherhood in good times and in bad. “Since the war began we are starting to get bigger and find more people to get soldiers the help they need. There are resources in Israel, but once they are back in the United States, what are their resources?”
Heshie leads life by example. “We still have to be together as a community. We have to keep working at an individual level to effect change. It’s about the connection that you have with people. We have to close the gaps within our community to strengthen it. If you treat someone with kindness, that’s where the change begins.” He also is acutely aware that all that he has been a part of, all of the soldiers helped, was accomplished as a community. "I could not have done any of this without the help of my friends in my community and my congregation."
True to form, Heshie ended our conversation with a story that was reminiscent of one a rabbi would tell his congregation during a high holiday sermon:
There is a story of an old man that is laying on his death bed. He called his kids over as he was getting ready to go into the next world. He prepared a bundle of twigs, many twigs, tied together. He tells his first son, a big, muscular man, to take the bundle and break it in half. He couldn’t do it. He tells his next son, to try, and he too was unable. After each one of his children tried and failed, he asked for the bundle of twigs. He untied the string and one by one snapped each twig in half, until a pile of broken twigs lay on the floor. “Understand this,” he said, “we, as the Jewish people, if we are united, if we’re together, if we’re one, no one can break us. But if we’re divided, even a frail old man like me is capable of destruction.”
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