Meet Rafi.
A father, a husband, a son, a brother, a friend, a cousin. An Israeli, a Canadian. A Jew.
Canada since October 7th hasn’t been living up to its ideals. Known for being polite, friendly, and infused with maple-syrup level sweetness, that version of Canada seems to be gone for so many in the vibrant Jewish community.
Before October 7, Jewish life in Toronto was strong. The community held many events. People didn’t feel an overwhelming sense of lack of safety. They felt represented and cared for by all levels of government.
Of course there were instances of antisemitism here and there, but there was never a feeling of Canada having an antisemitism problem. Over the last several years there had been a marked difference in the comfort levels of people to openly present themselves in a Jewish way, but one never felt that things could turn violent. People had been coming out of the woodwork, but never in numbers that presented a credible threat, and certainly nothing that warranted anyone to voice concern to the government.
That all changed on October 7th.
“This isn’t the same Canada that I grew up in. We moved here in January 1989. My family flourished here. I walked the streets of Toronto proudly wearing a kippa (yarmulka), I was observant, I never felt unsafe. I wore it downtown, to York University, and I never felt threatened or unsafe – even at York.
Growing up I never faced antisemitism in Toronto, or at university. I no longer feel like we have the support of any level of government. It is rare to find someone who will speak up. Those in power are using platitudes, but no one is taking action to change the situation, to create or even to enforce laws, to make Canada and Toronto a safe place again. It doesn’t feel like the same Canada anymore.”
On October 7th, Rafi was still recovering from donating a kidney. He woke up in the middle of the night and checked his phone. With the seven hour time difference, everything in Israel began unfolding at around midnight Toronto time. His inboxes were filled with messages. There was an attack in Southern Israel, Hamas had infiltrated in unknown numbers, at the time there were 20 confirmed dead. Rafi opened Instagram, and Noa Tishby was going live, explaining the situation as it unfolded. He turned on the Israeli News channel.
Rafi did not go back to bed that night. He didn’t wake up his family. Rafi’s wife, Sam, woke up because one of their sons has having a nightmare. She checked her phone. They sat together and watched everything unravel in Israel. This was an unprecedented event. It was nothing that anyone had been trained or prepared for. They sat there in shock and horror as they tried to figure out what was happening. Friends and family were messaging between Canada and Israel. Everyone was affected in one way or another.
“My cousin, Galit Baram’s (the former consul general of Israel in Canada) son was stationed in the south of Israel. He was on army leave, but very much in the thick of things.”
Israel is a tiny country, geographically and population wise. It is a close knit country, like a large family. Everyone is connected, within just a few degrees of separation.
“We felt completely helpless watching it on TV. We were overwhelmed with shock and sadness. Of course we all asked ourselves the same question. ‘What can I do to help?’ Oh, I can’t help, I’m all the way in Toronto.”
Rafi has two young sons, aged two and five years. He had to shield them from the horrors unfolding. He took them to their gymnastics activity that day, where all of the parents were distraught, discussing what was happening. Rafi saw the videos of Hamas taunting the kidnapped children in cages, the children terrified and crying for their parents. “All I could see was my son’s faces in those children. I broke. I went to the washroom and sobbed for twenty minutes straight, so the kids wouldn’t see.”
“I am the grandson of Holocaust survivors. When I was five years old my grandmother told me her story of surviving Auschwitz. I felt like I lost my childhood that day. I couldn’t do that to my boys.”
Rafi is a prominent member of the Toronto Jewish community. He has worked for many of the community’s Jewish institutions. He is well connected and respected. Immediately people were messaging him to try to find ways to help the people, communities, soldiers, and institutions of Israel. He works for The Canadian Shaarei Hospital Foundation. Shaarei Zedek had been in the news for taking in soldiers and wounded civilians. Rafi knew that he had to create a fundraiser, and quickly so that it would be ready to launch when Shabbat and Sukkot ended. Along with his colleagues, the head of marketing, the president, and chair, Rafi set up a campaign to help Shaarei Zedek’s emergency room, the busiest in the country during normal times, now having to adapt to war time and the increased demand on services. To date, over 700 soldiers and 300 civilians affected by the war have been treated at Shaarei Zedek. 200 staff members have been called up to the front lines.
The hospital was facing unprecedented circumstances. Team members had lost friends and family. Some had been recalled by the army. The hospital was facing staff shortages, and also had many staff members whose spouses were called up, leaving one parent to work and care for the children while the other is defending his nation.
“I was lucky to be able to help through my work. My job is helping the people of Israel via Shaarei Zedek, and directly helping the war effort. I prepared the emails, copy for the website, and everything launched as soon as the holiday ended. Immediately donations started rolling in. The community was so generous.”
“It was beautiful to see people supporting us, the UJA (United Jewish Appeal), Magen David Adom, United Hatzalah. People wanted to give, and they did. Toronto raised $75 Million (CAD) through UJA in the first month of the war. It was amazing.”
Rafi used to work at the UJA and while there he learned the importance of the UJA. It is that there is no Plan B. “No one else is going to take care of our community when disaster strikes. We’ve seen that. We have to be prepared to take care of ourselves.”
“My grandmother was a survivor. When she was at a Displaced Persons camp after the war, she made an Israeli flag out of flour sacks. It was hung proudly on her balcony in Israel until she died, and now it’s framed in my office as a reminder. She used to say ‘if you ever feel unsafe in Canada, you can always come to Israel, you have a home that will look after you.’”
The horrors of October 7th had unified diaspora Jewish communities in ways never expected or experienced prior. Prior to October 7th people had become comfortable in their North American-ness. Something about October 7th shook us all, woke us up at a cellular level. “This affected all of us.”
“I don’t think the diaspora Jewish community has been, in the last 75 years since Israel was established, has been this united around Israel, rallying around Israel. As a community professional it’s beautiful to see that.”
Everyone wanted to help. There was a new sense of unity, even half a world and an ocean away. People started collecting goods in their homes for donations. Fundraisers were started by every local Jewish organization. Millions more dollars were donated directly to Israeli organizations as people shared fundraising efforts from friends and family. No amount was too big or too small to donate, and no one said no.
“To me, that is the Jewish community. How can we help? How can we make things better? What can we do? No one was sitting idly; they were just waiting for the opportunity to help. They were ready to go, they were only waiting for the mechanisms to be available to help.” Supply drives were set up in people’s homes. Too much was donated, people and goods were turned away. A plane was chartered to fly supplies from Toronto directly to Israel. People got creative, everyone worked to find solutions to get things where they needed to go. Private citizens partnered with organizations, hospitals, and corporations to get vital supplies to Israel as quickly as possible.
“What happens to a Jew in the diaspora effects a Jew in Israel. What happens to a Jew in Israel effects a Jew in the diaspora. It’s a symbiotic relationship.”
Word spread. Everyone was doing their part. Religious and Secular. Ashkenazi, Sephardic, and Mizrahi. Right and Left.
“We’re resilient, we’re strong. That’s what October 7th showed us. This brought us together more than anything.”
What was harder to witness was the hate rallies that spread around Toronto. Already on October 7th, people were celebrating the massacre in the streets of Mississauga. The hate rallies grew in size and in nerve as they go unchecked by police and politicians. This wave of open hatred and hostility to the Jewish community presented a different facet to the war. It was no longer just overseas.
It took Canada’s Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, forever to make a statement about the attacks of October 7th. “Actions speak louder than words, and he is the only G7 leader to not bear witness to the atrocities committed by Hamas.” The official opposition, Canada’s Conservatives, have been much more resolute in their condemnation of terrorism. But all levels of government, federal, provincial, and municipal, across all provinces have failed their Jewish communities.
To their credit, the Toronto Police have been supportive and protective of the Jewish Community. “Any time there is an incident, they respond immediately to our calls. But they aren’t preventing any of the known protests or acts of intimidation on our communities either. It’s disappointing to see that action isn’t being taken when laws are broken and that things aren’t being done proactively.”
There is growing frustration with the government at all levels. “What are they waiting for? For someone to die? How many times does a Jewish day school have to be shot at? How many community centres must be targeted before someone takes action?”
There has been talk in Canadian circles about deciding when it’s time to leave Canada. What red line must be crossed. Aliyah numbers from Canada have drastically increased year-over-year. Rafi and his family aren’t at a point where they are considering leaving Canada. “I know someone who moved to Miami, I know people who are in the process of moving to Israel. But there is an election coming up, and I have faith that the tide will change. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”
The inaction of all levels of government, and lack of preventative action by law enforcement ends up fueling antisemitism because it emboldens the hateful mobs. As the mobs grow, increasing numbers of Jewish institutions nationwide were targeted and attacked – schools, community centres, businesses, synagogues. “It strengthens our unity, but it also scares us. The community is divided into two camps. Some are more openly proud, and some take their mezuzot down in fear.”
More people have been speaking out against the antisemitism than ever before. People who never used to use their voices are now saying that they have had enough of the rising antisemitism. “We are seeing a rise in Jewish pride – far more than we have ever seen in the Toronto Jewish community.”
“I was surprised by the lack of response from Toronto’s non-Jewish community. We have always been on the front lines of standing up for others, whether Black Lives Matter, or Stop Asian Hate, or Pride, and it was disheartening to see the majority of marginalized groups abandon us during our time of need.” This was their first opportunity to stand up for the Jewish community, to stand for the values they claim to espouse, yet that’s not what has happened. Most non-Jewish friends of Rafi’s, nevermind organizations, didn’t say a word. He is very appreciative of the FIVE in total who did say something.
“We are a strong community, we look after each other.”
Am Yisrael Chai, the Jewish people live, has been the community’s rallying call in the months that followed October 7.
On October 9th the Toronto J. A rally was called at Mel Lastman’s Square. This was the first sense of the community unifying. “Politics went out the door that day. We gathered, we were more than 10,000 people. Jewish Toronto came together peacefully. There was no damage, no vandalism, no calls for death and destruction.” Just calls for peace, for the safe return of our hostages, for the healing of our homeland.
Rafi has always been proud to be a Canadian, for the life that Canada has given to him and to his family. He would never turn is back on and discount the Canada of his childhood. However, under 2023 and 2024 leadership, he no longer is proud.
“I hope that one day I can have that pride in Canada again. I want to be part of a Canada that protects all of its citizens. I love Canada, it’s a great country, but I don’t feel proud to be a Canadian in this post October 7 world. I hope my kids can live a carefree childhood like I did. I never want them to have to hide their Jewish identity like we have to now. I want to go back to a Canada where hate was not tolerated, and certainly not accepted. We must go back to a time where expressing hate is not OK, and we need leadership who will show us that there are consequences to hate. Canada used to be a country where you were accepted regardless of your background, where are all worked together to build a better nation. We need to bring that Canada back.”
“Unfortunately, it took all of this hate to bring everyone together, to help us join efforts and pool resources to do the most good. The haters have unified us more than ever.”
And may we stay that way. Amen.
If you would like to donate to Shaarei Zedek's ER campaign, please visit www.er101.ca
Comments